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After an immense beat down of the Donkey Punches, the Red Rockets improved to 2-0-2 and finished the month of May undefeated. With the holiday being this long weekend, the Red Rockets have a bye week and were awarded a week off by their coach. With the celebrations continuing to get more and more exotic, GM Drew also took out a life insurance policy on a few of his more ‘obnoxious and exuberant’ players, including the likes of the trio Leo Trainor, Denis Flynn, Nick Cabral, along with new comers Brett Vickery and James Bilodeau.
Drew gave this reason as to why he upgraded the policy, “Well these fuckers either come to every game high or they get high after the game, figure their lungs are going to be shot to shit. I would say their brains, but collectively they probably have an IQ of a seven year old autistic girl. At least now once they’re no good to me, I can just take them out back to the woods for a little walk with my shotgun. Finally the team will have some money to get some new players.”
Drew’s plan was immediately off to a good start, as Trainor showed up to the team meeting Wednesday in overalls and a potato sack for a shirt, barging into the room asking, “Is the three o’clock free crack giveaway?”
The Red Rockets return to action Monday, June 6 against Chaos at 8:10 in Walpole. However it is rumored that Chaos may possibly not show up for the game which would result in a 1-1 tie for both teams, fearing the wrath of the unbeatable Red Rockets. The only other possible explanation for them not showing up would be that the Boston Bruins are in the Stanley Cup for the first time since 1990.
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| Sat Apr 27, 2024 |
| No events are scheduled. |
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